What's in a Name

Four of us sitting around -hmmming. What should his name be? We had quite a list: Ryder, Ronan, Rockwell, Oliver, Liam, Leland, Alexander, Beaumont, Graham, Roger (I don't know where that came from), Jameson and made especially worse with a book of names titled "Choosing the RIGHT Name for Your Baby." (author emphasis added) Since Kiera and Ramon had been calling her BIG belly "baby Beau" for such a long time, they both had a hard time relegating it to the baby name refuse heap where names go that every child on the block already has, creates a bully-target in elementary school or is ANY character from Twlight. It was decided that calling him Beau for months then changing his name to something else would confuse him and possibly make him constipated - hey, no one really knows why these babies get constipated so easily - I know, mother's milk, Similac, water, meds, etc., are all guilty conspirators, but it could possibly be a name change issue, too.
Once the name Beau was selected there were some who wanted to give it an added masculine thumping by adding mont to Beau. I mean really, I'm all for the masculine flexing thing, but Beaumont and Beauregard are two peas in the same silver spoon. After much discussing, hand-wringing, debating, fretting and finally resignation to the fates, it was decided his name would be Beau. Now, the simple task of giving him a middle name. And, wouldn't you know, it was no easier than his first name! I won't constipate you with all the names we went through, but there were short ones, long ones, tough ones, sissy ones - wait, this is sounding like an Oscar Mayer wiener ad. It seemed from out of no where, Ramon mentioned the name Brahms and like a harp-strum from heaven it sounded so sweet. So, that's it, it's decided, Beau Brahms Relyea would be his moniker for his mortal sojourn. It worked out nicely because it was about at that time the state birth certificate official came in wheeling a computer cart ready to submit his official name to the state of Florida, and they have no patience with parents who can't decide what to name their child. As Kiera was about to announce Beau's official name, she thought it would be fun to run the debate past the state official who obviously has lots of experience with baby's names. Well, to complicate what was a former dilemma, the woman loved the name Beaumont. Ramon had left earlier to study at school, so Kiera called him on the phone and pleaded her case for Beaumont. Ramon remnded Kiera of the ostentatious nature of the name and how he just couldn't stand the idea of grade schoolers teasing him about being born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Besides, he wasn't born with it, Ramon bought it for him the day AFTER he was born. Welcome home, Beau Brahms Relyea! By the way, that book, "Choosing the Right Name for Your Baby" didn't have either of Beau's names in it! I'd like a refund, Amazon!